Hogwarts PreSchool
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: /“The name Hogwarts do not sound per-pret-presi-honored. It sound like a yucky flu that makes your hair fall out.” Draco’s response sent both his parents into fits of laughter."/ Draco and the other characters are in preschool! AU DMHG, of course.
1. A Glimpse at PreSchool

Disclaimer: The HP Characters belong to JKR.

A/N: -wince- It's been forever since I've posted...Bleh. I'm ashamed. I've had this written for soooooooo long and I've had like almsot no homework the past week. And what do I do witht hat time? Read fanfiction. Shame on me. I should have typed this...Oh well. I typed it now.

I don't know how this idea came to me...it just did. LOL Ok. Onto the fic...oh yeah...it's mroe like in little snippets...Hehe. Oh yeah. Ignore any grammar mistakes that are in dialouge. Those are on purpose.

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"But I don wanna goooooooooooooo!" Draco stomped his foot in frustration and crossed his arms over his chest. A pout was placed on his frowning lips. He looked up at his mother and father with big fake-watery eyes. "Are you trying to get rid of me? Don you love me anymore." The little drama king began making his lower lip quiver and his voice crack. More crocodile tears filled his eyes.

His parents weren't fooled. "Draco. We know you're faking. Stop it," Lucius announced, sending his son a stern glare. Narcissa just bit her lip and stared at her feet, avoiding from looking at her son's sad face. She knew that if she did, she'd bring him back home and not send him to Hogwarts at all.

"Why are you staking me to this dump?" Draco shed his pouting look, knowing it wouldn't work now that his parents had figured him out.

Lucius rolled his eyes at Draco's behavior, "Just shut up."

Narcissa looked at her husband in annoyance. She sent him a stern glare before turning to her son, "Don't mind your father, dear. He's just a bit overworked. And this place is not a dump. It's one of the most prestigious school s there are."

"Ptrgsious? What that?" Draco looked up at his mother with a confused expression. Narcissa laughed at his expression and ruffled his hair.

"Prestigious, Draco. It means influential, important, honored, and things like that," Lucius replied, answering Draco question.

"The name Hogwarts do not sound per-pret-presi-honored. It sound like a yucky flu that makes your hair fall out." Draco's response set both his parents into fits of laughter.

"Draco. You're not a little kid anymore. Big kids go to pre-school," Lucius explained slowly. "You're already 3."

"No. I'm 3 ½," Draco interjected, correcting his father. He still wouldn't budge from his seat.

"Okay Draco. If it makes you feel better, your mother and I came here when we were little too," Lucius told Draco. Draco's head snapped up in sudden interest.

"Is that why your hair is falling out?" he asked, his eyes wide in curiosity. Narcissa bit back her laughter and Lucius looked at his son furiously.

"No. Your father is just getting old. Anyway, this is the place Lucius and I met," Narcissa cut in to stop Lucius from lashing out at Draco. Draco enveloped the change of topic, after all he had never known how his parents met. "I remember Lucius bugging me every single waking moment of the day. Well, even more than that, he used to try to cuddle with me at nap time too."

"Yes. And I used to pick flowers and give them to her," Lucius continued.

"Oh and remember that one time where there was a bee in the flower and it started chasing you?" Narcissa interrupted.

Draco looked at his parents in awe, the little gears in his mind turning. "And then Mother fall madly in love with you and you carry her off on a horsey's back into the sunset!" Draco yelled, finishing the story. Narcissa and Lucius looked at each other and laughed. Draco had been reading too many fairytales.

"No actually, she hated me, didn't you love?"

"Yup. But he won me over eventually," Narcissa looked over at her husband sweetly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Draco wrinkled his nose in disgust. "EWW!" Both his parents laughed at his reaction. "So do this mean my wife will be at Hogwarts too?" He asked.

"Who knows. Maybe…" Narcissa trailed off mysteriously.

"Okay enough of this. Let's get you inside," Lucius said, grabbing his son's shoulder and steering him inside.

XOXOXO

"Eww the colors hurt my eyes!" Draco announced to the crowded room in annoyance. No one paid any attention to him. "My mansion look better than this. I wanna go home." A head snapped up and looked at him with curious eyes.

"Well let's just check it out over here for a while. Make new friends. Play with the toys," Mr. Dumbledore, the teacher, said to Draco quietly. The old man then went off pointing out other kids and things to do. Draco tuned him out, thankful when he finally left. Very weird old man.

"You have a mansion?" a voice piped up from behind Draco. Draco spun around to be faced with another kid. A girl who went by the name Pansy Parkinson.

"Yeah. Soo..?" Draco asked offhandedly, brushing off the girl.

"Nothing. I just think you're very handsome. I like handsome and rich people," she scooted closer to Draco and he, in turn, scooted away.

"Eww get off!" Draco exclaimed as she latched onto his arm. He shook his arm vigorously to get her to let go. The young girl pouted.

"You're a meanie!" she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Draco.

"Flattery will take you nowhere," Draco said.

"Ummm…thank you? What does that mean?" Pansy asked in a confused voice. Draco just shrugged in response, still scooting away from her.

"Don't know. Father says it when people call him a meanie," Draco explained. Draco felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around, about to tell the person not to touch him, when he stopped in his tracks.

"Flattery is when you compliment someone and…-" the girl started. Draco didn't hear the rest of the girl's words, to entranced by her prettiness. Her soft pretty hair. Her pretty skin. Her pretty borwn eyes. Sooo…pretty!

It was then that he knew it. He wanted her. She would be his future wife. The future Mrs. Malfoy.

"Leave us alone Hermioninny," Pansy scoffed at the other girl, wondering why Draco was staring at her.

"My name is Hermione," the girl said angrily. Draco's head snapped up and he snarled at the pug-paced girl for making the hurt look appear on his beloved's face. His beloved gave a huff and turned around, stomping off in aggravation.

Love was a wonderful thing.

XOXOXO

"Will you marry me?" A red headed boy was kneeling down at Hermione's feet, presenting the girl with a plastic ring. Draco's eyes widened in horror.

"No! She's marrying me!" Draco ran over and grabbed the girl's hand. Hermione resisted, trying to get out of his hold.

"I don't wanna marry you!" she exclaimed. Ron, the red headed boy, laughed as she pushed Draco away. "I don't wanna marry you either!" she told Ron, immediately shutting him up.

"No! You and me are gonna get married!" Draco said, grabbing hold of her again. Ron glared at the other boy and grabbed Hermione's other hand.

"She's mine!"

"No she's mine!"

"Mine."

"Mine."

"Mine."

"Mine."

"She can't marry you! You don't have a ring!" Ron suddenly said, holding up his plastic ring in victory. Draco's eyes widened in realization and he released Hermione.

Ron beamed in triumph and went down on one knee again too propose. "Will you ma-"

Draco reached over and snatched the ring out of Ron's hand. "Haha. Now I have it! I get to marry Hermione!"

"No! Give it back! It's mine!" Ron cried out, chasing the boy. Draco just laughed and zipped through the room, the other boy running after him.

"No its mine. Mine mine mine mine! Aaaaaaaaaaalllllll MI-" Omph! Draco ran into something. He looked up to be met with Mr. Dumbledore wagging his finger in a no motion.

"Give it back Draco. And I'm sorry but Ms. Granger says that she doesn't want to get married," Mr. Dumbledore announced. The said girl peeked her head out from behind her teacher's leg and nodded. The two boys just pouted.

XOXOXO

"Nap time everyone!" Dumbledore shouted out, startling all the little kids. "Let's start cleaning up our mess."

The children picked up their toys and games all the while singing their clean-up song. "Clean up clean up; everybody everywhere. Clean up clean up; let's all do our share!" The merry little voices filled the room as they pulled out their sleeping bags and pillows.

Draco quickly set his up next to Hermione's, much to Ron's disappointment. Hermione's friend Harry was on her other side. And on Harry's other side was his best friend Blaise. Unluckily, Pansy got Draco's other side. Ron was stuck between Pansy and Neville, a nice quiet boy who was normally very jittery.

Mr. Dumbledore turned off the lights, causing the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling to light up. The kids stared upward as Mr. Dumbledore opened up a story book, "Once upon a time…"

The kids listened in silence for a while, some of them nodding off. Snores could be heard from Neville and Ron, along with Blaise. Mr. Dumbledore put down the book and went into his office, leaving the children alone.

Draco reached over and poked Hermione. No response. "Hermione?" He poked her again, "are you awake?"

"I am now," a harsh whisper from his beloved answered his question. "What do you want?"

"To talk to you." Draco smiled at her. She, in response, glared.

"Leave me alone and go back to sleep," she said as she turned the other way.

5 minutes later, Draco poked her again. "Are you awake?"

"Leave Ms. Granger alone," Mr. Dumbledore's voice announced. Draco sighed and went back to staring at the ceiling.

XOXOXO

"Hermione's my partner!" Draco exclaimed, grabbing hold of the girl. Hermione sent him a glare, but sighed in resignation. She knew by now that even if she resisted, he'd somehow manage to get to be her partner.

"Okay. Good. Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger. Does everyone else have a partner?" Everyone nodded at Mr. Dumbledore, some happily and some not. "Great! Now let's line up with our partners!"

The little feet scurried into their lines, all waiting impatiently. Draco beamed at Hermione, only to be met with a glare.

"OKAY! Onto the bus!" Mr. Dumbledore declared as he ushered all the kids onto the big yellow vehicle. "Remember to sit with your partners."

Like the perfect little gentleman he was, Draco offered Hermione the window seat. The girl took it, sitting down and scooting as far away from Draco as possible. Draco slid in right after her and turned his attention to the bus driver, who was telling them a bunch of safety things.

The bus started, taking the little pre-schoolers on their first ever field trip. Mr. Dumbledore led the class in a few verses of 'The Wheels on the Bus' before progressing to '100 Bottles of Pop on the Wall.' The preschoolers just yelled out the randomest numbers, because they had yet to learn their counting. That's what made it all the more fun.

Draco sat entranced watching Hermione laugh at the randomness. It was the first time she ever laughed around him. He sighed and watched her.

A few minutes into the bus ride, he poked Hermione in an attempt to get her attention. She looked at him curiously. "What?"

Draco smiled and leaned over to her ear, happy that she didn't move away, and sang his own song. "I love you. You love me. Let's get together and make babies."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock and she opened her mouth wide, "MR. DUMBLEDORE!!!!"

For the rest of the ride, Mr. Dumbledore sat next to Draco and was his partner during the field trip. Hermione joined Ron and Neville's group, earning a 'hahaha' from the redhead.

Draco sighed. He wouldn't give up! She's be his wife. No matter what!

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A/N: Was it good? Did you laugh? My favorite part was the 'is that why your hair is falling out' part. Hehe. I couldn't help but add that. I can totally imagine a mini Draco sayign that with a serious expression on his face.

Review please! The more reviews, the more I'm motivated to write. I have a bunch of plotbunnies runnign through my head right now...5 actually. Bleh. Too much. My head is overloading. Okay.

So for now, this is gonna be complete. If it has a good reaction and if I feel bored enoguh to write more...So there's a good chance that I'm gonna write at least another chappie.

Okay. Now...I have a little contest that will be set up on my profile. I'm just talkign about it here. I'm going to post a poem on my profile. When I wrote the poem (It was for my english class) I kept a certain Harry Potter character in mind. If you guess the correct character, I'll write a oneshot for you for your favorite pairing and, if you want, you can choose the plot. Sound cool? Try it. It's not too hard and there's no harm in trying. So check it out! more details on my profile.

XOXO

Flame


	2. The Attack of the Cupcakes

Disclaimer: The HP series belogns to JKR not me.

A/N: Yay an update! I wanna say thanks to eveyrone who reviewed. You guys motivated me into writing faster with all your reviews and support. I was going to type up and update on Saturday...but I didn't. Hehe.

There's a bit more romantical stuffies toward the end for you all! Yay!

There's only one section this time...I'll do it like this form now on. So its like a series of preschool drabbles...Hehe. This is set a few months after the last chappie.

**Oh yeah I need to giv eyou guys a piece of important info I forgot to mention last chappie. This is an AU. It is nonmagic. That's why Mr. Dumbledore isn't Prof. Dumbledore and he teaches at Hogwarts Pre-School instead of at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And that's why Hermione and Harry are there.**

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"Okay children, settle down. It's snack time and-" Mr. Dumbledore was cut off by the 'yay's and happy yells of about 15 three year old toddlers. "I said 'settle down,' not jump up and down and yell." He had an amused smile on his face, despite the stern tone that his voice had taken.

The little kids all put a finger in front of their mouth and shushed each other, giggling madly. A loud 'Shh!' ran through the class, making the room sound as if it were full of snakes.

Mr. Dumbledore cleared his throat and all the tiny mouths clamped shut and looked up at their teacher attentively- or rather, as attentively as pre-schoolers could look. The small bodies squirmed in their seats, their feet tapping and fingers fidgeting. Their minds were set on one thing: Food. Tongues slipped out, gently licking their lips, envisioning their prize.

Mr. Dumbledore chuckled at the looks on his class's face. Their exuberant little personalities made him feel so much younger. He knew how much they would jump with excitement upon hearing the next announcement. Upon hearing what snack they were going to get. The little children were so predictable, their minds just thinking about the present, not the future. They didn't need to worry or debate or think. They just played and enjoyed the 'now.' The children fidgeted even more, making Mr. Dumbledore's smile widen.

"Okay. Now our very own Mrs. Malfoy volunteered to bring special snacks today. Cupcakes." Mr. Dumbledore laughed as the kids started jumping with excitement, especially Draco, who beamed with pride. He left the room really quickly to grab the cupcakes out of the fridge in his office, bringing them back quickly.

The happy children were all seated, all of them staring at the huge box of cupcakes in Mr. Dumbeldore's hands. Well, most of them were. Draco craned his neck and looked at the open door of his teacher's office.

Mr. Dumbledore walked around, passing out a cupcake to each person, reaching Draco last. "Is there something wrong Mr. Malfoy?"

"Is Mother here?" The inquisitive little voice held an ounce of hope. Mr. Dumbledore grimaced, knowing that the boy would be disappointed to know that his mother would not come.

"I'm sorry. She really wanted to stay, but she had to leave." The young blond=haired boy just bowed his head dejectedly, not looking at Mr. Dumbledore. The man still noticed the tears building up in the child's eyes. "Draco. Look, she was just really really busy."

"It's okay. I get it." The small voice cracked slightly as he talked. Draco still didn't raise his head, but he grabbed his cupcake and took a bite.

Mr. Dumbledore sighed, knowing that it was the end of the conversation. He left the boy alone, looking back over his shoulder guiltily. He headed to his office, ready to get some paperwork done as the children ate.

"Haha. Who calls mom 'mother'? You're so weird!" Ron called over to Draco in a teasing voice. Draco just ignored him, eating his cupcakes slowly, trying not to let the tears fall. "Aww. Your mommy not love you. She not stay with you. Aww. You gonna cry? Baby." The teasing continued, Ron poking fun at Draco.

Draco raised his head to look at the other boy, the unshed tears shimmering in his eyes. "Shut up, Ron!" he yelled, lifting his arm and flinging his cupcake his red-headed classmate.

The bleu wide eyes of Ron were immediately covered with cupcake, along with the rest of his face. Ron let out an enraged yell of his own before grabbing a cupcake out of Neville's hand and flinging it at Draco, who dodged it easily.

One of the kids suddenly yelled, "Food fight!", starting up and onslaught of cupcake flinging, which immediately drew Mr. Dumbledore out of his office.

"Stop!" he roared, stopping the little nymphs in their tracks, all of them looking at him in shock. "What is going on?"

A while later

Draco sat on the stairs leading inside, his feet swinging. He stared at his hands absently as he tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "Are you okay?" The little boy's face snapped up to meet the concerned eyes of his future-wife-who-still-didn't-love-him-yet-but-will-eventually.

"I'm fine," He managed to give her a weak smile though it was obvious that it didn't convince her.

The girl sat down next to Draco and put her hand on his shoulder. She smiled at him, "No you aren't. We both know that."

"It's nothing." Draco avoided looking her in the eyes. She'd know he was lying.

"Are you sure? I'll listen."

They sat for a while in silence before Draco finally opened his mouth, "Today's my birthday."

"Oh. Happy birthday!" Hermione exclaimed in a puzzled tone, wondering why Draco would be sad about that.

"Thanks. Mother was supposed to drop by school today. She gave the cupcakes. But she didn't come see me. She didn't say hi." Draco looked down dejectedly, his voice cracking as the grief filled him. The tears rose to the surface of his eyes again but he held them back.

"Oh. I'm sure she was busy." Hermione offered the boy a week smile.

"Maybe."

"It's okay to cry. It doesn't mean you're a baby," Hermione commented after seeing the unshed tears. She sent a glare over at Ron, who didn't notice anything. "Ron is just mad because I would probably rather marry you then him."

Draco's head rose as he looked at Hermione. "Really?"

"Really." Hermione pulled her classmate into a warm, friendly embrace.

Draco let a few tears fall down his cheeks.

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A/N: Aww How cute. Hmm I wanna send a shout out to Jika because it was because of her PM that I even thought of his mom not showing up and thus the little fluffy scene at the end. So a big round of applause to her for that.

Okay. Review please. The more support and reviews I get, the faster and more I write.

My contest thingy is still up. No one has guessed it yet, so take a chance.

Uggh. I think I'll shut up now. I have homework to do and a stomach to feed. Once I got home, the first thing I did was check my email and then write. I haven't done any homework. Nor have I eaten.

XOXO

Flame


	3. Cooties, Perises, and Vagendas

Disclaimer: The HP series belongs to JKR

A/N: Hehe. I feel ashamed. It's been forever since I've posted...Oh well. I posted now. That's the good thing right? -whimpers and cowers in front of angry readers-

**And as for their awesome speech abilities, let's say that this is an accelerate Pre-School. Like the ones for Geni (plural of genius).** Hehe.

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Shrieks filled the air. Little bodies ran around. Kids fell. They got up again. They played, talked, laughed, and today, they mostly just screamed.

Or well, just the girls screamed.

They discovered cooties.

"Ewwwwwwww! Parvati has Neville cooties!" Lavender yelled loudly, running away from the girl.

Parvati looked down at her hands with wide eyes. "I…have cooties?" she announced softly, more to herself then to anyone else.

She stared at her hands in horror, as if wishing she could wrench them off and throw them away; preferably back at Neville, who was huddled in a corner being as self conscious as always.

Suddenly, a shriek erupted from her throat and she ran over to Hermione, who was sitting down, reading a picture book. Parvati wiped her hand on Hermione yelling out, "Ewwwwwwwww! Hermione has cooties," just like Lavender had done to her.

Hermione didn't even twitch, keeping all her attention on her book. Her eyebrows where furrowed and her mouth was moving slowly and silently along with the words.

"Hello. Hermione? You have Neville's cooties…" Parvati said, waving her hand in front of Hermione's face, between the other girl and her book.

The girl in question just growled slightly and slapped Parvati's hand away. "Leave." And with that, she went back to her book.

"Hermione…?" Parvati asked, pouting at the ruining of the game. Lavender skipped over, and prodded Parvati with her finger, receiving a yelp from the darker girl.

"What happened?" Lavender chimed in confusion.

"Hermione won't pass on the cooties," Parvati replied with the pout still placed on her lips. Lavender mimicked her.

"That's because Hermione is too awesome to give cooties."

Both girls jumped and let out shrieks as a blonde kid came out from behind a tree.

"Draco? What where you doing?" Lavender questioned.

"I was watching Hermione," Draco replied casually.

At this, Hermione's head snapped up. "You were watching me?" Her voice held a tone of reproach as she looked at the boy.

Draco smiled and nodded happily! "Yup! See that's how much I love you! Watching you read is fun!"

All three of the girls looked at Draco as if he was crazy, which he probably was. "It is?" Hermione questioned in confusion.

"Mmmhmmm!" replied Draco, scooting closer to Hermione. "Love, you can have my cooties if you want."

Hermione tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What are cooties?"

Her question received gasps in reply from Lavender and Parvati. "You don't know what cooties are?"

Hermione just gave a shrug in reply. "No. I don't. Why? What are they?"

"Cooties are…they are…umm…they are…" Lavnder trailed off in thought. Parvati stared off into space, her own lips pursed in thought.

"Do you know Draco?" Hermione asked, turning her gaze onto the blonde boy. The said boy looked up in surprise.

"Me?" He pointed a finger at himself. "Umm…No."

"I know!" Pansy yelled, suddenly running into the conversation. She latched onto Draco's arm like a leech, rubbing the side of her face against his sleeve. Draco looked down at the girl in confusion.

"Pansy?" Pansy looked up at her own love, her eyes sparkling with happiness that he was actually addressing her. "Get off."

She pouted, but let go anyway. Then, she turned to address the other girls. :Cooties are these icky things that all guys have. Even Draco. And if you touch them, you get the cooties…" she stated matter-of-factly.

"Doesn't that mean you have cooties?" Hermione pointed out.

Pansy's eyes went wide, and she shrieked, proceeding to run around in circles with her arms flailing everywhere.

Everyone stared at her for a moment before turning back into their thoughts. A light bulb lit over Lavender's head. "Wait!"

The 2 girls and the boy looked at her. "What?"

"I'm confused," she stated, a look of puzzlement settling on her features, "How are those cooties? I thought it was called peris…"

"My mom came from Paris!" Draco exclaimed in an effort to impress Hermione, only to be ignored.

"Peris?" Hermione enquired.

"Yeah. And girls had vagendas," Lavender commented in confusion.

"Where'd you here that?"

"Mommy and Daddy were talking about it to my big sis. It was weird," Lavender stated…

Draco suddenly smiled and wiped his hand on Parvati. "Haha You have my 'peris'es!"

Shrieks filled the air. Little bodies ran around. Kids fell. They got up again. They played, talked, laughed, and today, they mostly just screamed.

Or well, just the girls screamed.

They discovered 'peris'es and 'vagenda's.

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A/N: Hehe. -pokes Miss Mary Sue- -snicker- Vagenda. Inside joke.

Anyway, I hope this made up for the long wait. I know its not much... Once again, I'm soooo sorry. This fic has kind of been toward the bottom of my list of things to do. And today, I couldn't find anythign to read and so I decided to write. -shrug- This is the second thing I posted today...And I posted soemthign yesterday too...-sigh- There's just not anythign to read anymore. I'm soooo bored. If anyone has any recs or wants me to read and review their stories, I will gladly do so.

Review please! Reviews make the world go round! Not really... Actually love makes the world go round, but reviews spread love! We don't want our world to stop goign around do we? Ha. I bet someone is going to review and comment that gravity is what makes the world go round, not love or reviews...Watch. Once again, review please!

XOXO

Flame


	4. Mr Riddle! Oh No!

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Disclaimer: See first chappie…

A/N: No time..Need to post…

**Ehh..Edit: I was in a hurry to post so I forgot to mention that I'm not having them reside in Britain. They'll be situated in USA. Sorry for any confusion.**

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Mr. Dumbledore walked into his classroom to meet twenty or so childish, chubby faces staring up at him through their big round watery eyes. Those eyes were directed upon the one thing in their favorite (and only) teacher's hand. Mr. Dumbledore was grasping a flag. The flag of the United States of America- to be exact. The odd, unfamiliar object seemed beautiful and majestic in the eyes of the young children seated on the colorful carpet.

"Who knows what this is?" Mr. Dumbledore asked with a huge smile on his face. He unfurled the flag, revealing the red and white strips and the white stars. The children gasped in awe with their eyes trained on the flag, each of them shaking their heads.

Well, everyone except one. Hermione, of course, sprung her hand in the air, hopping up and down excitedly as if the answer was bubbling inside her and waiting for an escape. Mr. Dumbledore smiled and nodded at her, urging her to go on and answer. "It's the flag!"

The smile on her teacher's face widened into a beam and his eyes regained their twinkle. "Correct!" he announced, "This is the flag. Now who know what we do with the flag?" His question earned confused looks and 'huh's from his students, including his accelerated student.

"BURN IT!!!!!!!!"

Everyone's heads snapped up and turned to the back of the room to see an odd looking man standing on one of their tables with both of his arms in the air. His weirdly red eyes were wide and there was a huge smirk on his face as he looked down at the kids, who all cowered. His shiny, bald head was too bright for them. It hurt their eyes. And his skin looked as scaly as a snake. The kids shuddered at the sight of him and scooted away, moving toward their teacher.

Mr. Dumbledore immediately jumped and stared at the scary looking man in alarm. Yet, his voice took on his ever clam tone, "And who might you be? What business do you have in my classroom?" By now, all the children had gotten up and huddled behind Mr. Dumbledore and clinging to his legs. Draco assumed a position in front of Hermione, puffing his chest out in a superman pose.

The freaky man walked closer to the children with a lip curling grin on his face, bearing sharp pointy teeth that reminded the children of fangs and vampires and some Edward Cullen dude that some of their older sisters were obsessed with…and some brothers that were too… His pale hand reached into his pocket and the children just imagined him pulling out a gun and shooting people.

Neville wet his pants…

However, the man had just pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to their teacher. "I'll your new assistant teacher." The children looked up at the scary man with wide eyes as he said that, not wanting him to be their teacher. "My name is Mr. Riddle."

They wanted Dumbledore and ONLY Dumbledore. NOT MR. RIDDLE!

Unfortunately, they didn't have a choice. Mr. Dumbledore didn't seem to notice the frightened looks on the preschooler's faces and nodded at the Mr. Riddle, shaking his hand. "Mr. Dumbledore," he said, making his introduction. "And this is my class…Well, I guess it's our class now."Mr. Dumbledore gave a chuckle, which Mr. Riddle joined in on.

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Mr. Riddle asked, eyeing the preschoolers.

"Actually, I was just about to teach them the national anthem." Mr. Dumbledore held up his flag in a motion and gave it a salute.

"Oh. What if I do that for you and you go relax. I can teach them the Pledge of Allegiance." Mr. Riddle's offer was make with a huge grin splitting his face, one that made the kids cower even more.

"Hmm First I'll say it once for the class. I don't want to miss out on saying the pledge," Mr. Dumbledore announced, chuckling, "Then you can help them remember it." He walked over and fixed the flag in a point by the whiteboard in a corner of the room.

"Now first, place your right hand over your heart," Mr. Dumbledore instructed, making the motion. He children copied him. "Okay. Now repeat after me: I Pledge Allegiance to the flag"

"I Pledge Allegiance to the flag"  
"Of the United States of America"  
"Of the United States of America"

"And to the Republic"

"And to the Republic"  
"For which it stands,"

"For which it stands,"  
"One Nation under God,"  
"One Nation under God,"

"Indivisible,"

"Indivisible,"  
"With liberty and justice for all."

"With liberty and justice for all." The children finished off with a flourish, relieved that it was over. A few faces scrunched up at the thought of all the words to remember, other scrunched at having to remember which hand was the right.

Mr. Dumbledore smiled and ruffled Neville's head. "It's okay children. It's actually pretty simple." They just nodded. "Now, I think I'll leave you with Mr. Riddle now." At that, he left the room and all the kids stared after him longingly, a few looking as if they would cry.

Mr. Riddle clapped his hands together and rubbed them, making a shuffling noise. "Now! Let's get started, shall we?"

Audible gulps were heard in the crowd of preschoolers.

"Now first, let's get rid of this lame flag!" He ripped it off of the little stand and whipped out something else.

It was another flag of course, but a different kind. Instead of the colorful pretty stars and stripes of America, it was only two colors: Black and green. The whole thing was black and in the middle sat the face of a man enwrapped in a snake. It sent shudders through people's spines. He set it up in the space of the American flag and put his right hand over his heart. "Now repeat after me: I pledge allegiance to the flag."

"I Pledge Allegiance to the flag"  
"Of the awesomness of Voldemort"  
"Of the awesomeness of Voldemort"

"And to the Dictatorship"

"And to the Dictatorship"  
"For which it stands,"

"For which it stands,"  
"One Universe under him,"  
"One Universe under him,"

"Indivisible,"

"Indivisible,"  
"With liberty and justice for none."

"With liberty and justice for none."

The kids, with their short attention span, hadn't even noticed the change in the lyrics, except for two. Hermione had obviously made all the observations and concluded that Mr. Riddle was EVIL! Draco was the other person, but he had only noticed because of his stalking of his love and realizing that she wasn't repeating after Mr. Riddle. And he knew she could never be wrong, so he followed in suit.

Mr. Riddle, however, didn't notice the lack of participation. Instead, he started repeating in again, having the kids repeat after him 3 more times, until he decided it was enough for the day. He changed the flag back and went to call Mr. Dumbledore.

"Now how much did you all learn? Let's see you all recite it from memory!" Mr. Dumbledore announced as he walked into the room with the ever present grin on his face.

The class nodded, sure that they had it right. And thus, they preceded to recite what they remembered. The one Mr. Riddle had taught them. Except for Hermione and Draco. They recited the original correct one.

That earned them free time while the others were punished. Mr. Riddle was put under accusation by Mr. Dumbldore until he said, "I didn't teach them that! My name is Tom Riddle! Not Voldemort or whatever they said!"

The children all glared at him, but Mr. Dumbledore, being the trusting man he was, believed him.

---

With Hermione and Draco, hushed whispers flew into each others' ears.

"He's evil," Draco announced with a fearful tone in his voice. His eyes darted up to their new teacher.

"We need to get rid of him."

"I'll help you! Just you and me. Side by side. Toge-"

"Shush."

"I'll shush if you kiss me…Hug me?...Touch me?..."

"No."

"Meanie! I'll shush if you say please!"

"Please.."

"Yay! You said please! I love you Mione!"

"Don't shorten my name."

"Mione! Mione! Mione!"

"Please"

"I love you!" Draco glomped Hermione.

"GET OFF ME DRACO!"

* * *

A/N: I have to go to bed soon! Ehh! No time to write an A/N…

Review please! Love you all! Spread the love!

Oh yeah: After this, there will be somewhat of a plot. Getting rid of Riddle...In some chappies, it won't be mentioned and on some, that'll be the main focus.

XOXO  
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	5. The Father's Day and the Plan

Disclaimer: The Hp series belongs to JKR, not me.

A/N: Hi…

* * *

Lucius Malfoy raised an eyebrow at his usually prideful son- the son same that was now showering him with gifts. "Draco what is with you today?" he asked in reproach, wrinkling his pointy nose in disgust at the sentimental, yet pricey gifts that his son had bestowed upon him so graciously.

"Nothing. I just realized how much I love you and how much you matter to me. Happy Father's Day," Draco replied in a heartfelt voice, clasping both his hands on his chest, in the place of his heart. He looked up at his Daddy with big, wide, child-like eyes.

"Do you even know what you just said? You're four years old!" Lucius asked in astonishment. He knew his son was smart…but not that smart. His son's sentence was sentimental and long-worded.

Draco pouted. "Of course I do Daddy. I'm four. I'm not three years old anymore. I'm a big kid! I go to school. And anyway. I'm just integillent like that," Draco said with a huge cheesy smile on his face.

"Integillent?" Lucius's lips quirked at the corners as he questioned the 'big kid' in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know…. Smart…and stuff," Draco said weakly in response, shrugging his shoulders.

A chuckle rose to Lucius's lips. "Do you mean intelligent?" he asked rhetorically. Draco's mouth opened into an O. "Where did you learn that word from anyway?"

"My love…" Draco said with a sigh, looking off into the distance longingly. "Hermione." He stated the name with a passion that was uncharacteristic for a four year old. He stated it in a way that Lucius remembered his own love sick chase after his own love. After all, his son was a mini version of himself through and through.

"You're in love? Hermione. A pretty name. Shakesperian," Lucius speculated out loud, now suddenly interested.

"Yes. I saw her at Hogwarts. She's so pretty and cool and awesome and pretty and integillen-"

"Intelligent."

"Yeah yeah. Intelligent. And amazing and she's soooooo pretty. And smart and did I mention pretty? If not, then, she's pretty too." Draco declared in a love sick voice. Lucius looked at him with a laugh forming at his lips.

"Draco, you are impossible."

Draco looked up at him with a big cheeky smile on his face and a shrug on his shulders. "Oh well. I love her."

Lucius arched an eyebrow at the statement. "How do you know for sure that you love her?"

"Because she's pretty and amazing and cool a-"

"Okay Okay, don't get started on that again. So how is school going?" Lucius asked in an effort to change the subject and get his son off of his long, pointless list of admirations.

At that, Draco's eyes widened theatrically and he started jumping up and down excitedly, flailing his arms. "OH! OH! OH! OH!"

. "Oh, what?" Lucius laughed.

"We have an EVIL teacher," Draco said, putting complete emphasis on the 'evil'. Lucius once again found himself arching his eyebrows.

"Evil?" he broached, probing for more information, immediately alert. "What do you mean by evil?" he asked his son with a solicitous look on his face.

"He's mean. He lied to us. And he taught us wrong on purpose. And he got everyone in trouble except me and Hermione. And Dumbledore was mad. But he blamed us. And he keeps ranting about how some guy names Vodelmot is gonna rule the world and how we should help him and how he'll give us a lot of candy and cake. But we don't believe him because he's really mean. And annoying. And he gets everyone in trouble except-"

"You and Hermione. You told me," Lucius finished, noting that his son kept talking in circles, and not in the politician way- more like he was talking in circles the ADD way. He'd have to check up on that later. For now, he had an evil teacher to focus on. "I'm pretty sure you meant Voldemort. And by your description, I'm pretty sure your evil teacher is either a communist in support of Voldemort and his rule or he's Voldemort himself."

Draco just stared at his father blankly, not comprehending a word that the older male had said.

"So. That means that he should have been involved in some of the crimes going around here. I could maybe get some dirt on him and we could get rid of him…" Lucius pondered out loud, stroking his chin in thought.

Draco blinked.

"What's your teacher's name?"

"Mr. Riddle," Draco said after a moment.

Lucius pursed his lip in thought before pulling out a post it note and a pen, scribbling something onto the small piece of sticky paper. "Mr. Riddle. Hmm that name sounds familiar. I'll check my files and such for a bit, but meanwhile, I have a little project for you, or rather, for you and your classmates."

Draco wrinkled his nose and groaned at the prospect. "A project? Awww."

"No. I think you'll like this project. It should actually be rather fun." A cunning smirk rose onto Lucius's lips as he said this.

"OOOOOOOOOH! Fun!" Draco rubbed his hands together greedily, a smirk appearing on his own lips to mimic his father.

A few ten/twenty miles away, 'Mr. Riddle' shivered, feeling a sinister dread run through his spine. He brushed it away as his imagination. He sneezed.

Oh, what fun was to come. If 'Mr. Riddle' knew what was in store for him, he'd have run away at that moment, screaming like a little girl.

* * *

A/N: Haha, I was intending to do a Father's Day drabble about Draco explaining the true meaning of Fathers and other sappy weird stuff like that, but I ended up blanking out. I decided to add Hermione and make it a preschool chapter with a Father's Day acknowledgement.

DUDES! I GOT UP TO A HUNDRED REVIEWS FOR THIS FIC! OH WOW! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! I LOVE YOU ALLL! This is my first fic ever (not that ever is a long time since I've only been writing for 6 or so months) that has gotten over a hundred. Thanks for reviewing! And please keep the number of reviews going up. The love has been spreading! Keep spreading it! (please?!) Review please.

XOXO

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PS: =) I'm soooo happy(if you couldn't tell from the caps locked declaration)!


	6. Butts, Glue, Chairs, and Dramione

Disclaimer: The HP series does not belong to me.

A/N: Hey dudes and dudettes!

* * *

"It was him. I know it was! He did it!" Mr. Riddle's face was screwed up in outrage and his eyes were wide in anger. His index finger was pointing straight at one little boy in the middle of all the preschoolers. The said little blonde boy just looked up at his teacher with confusion, his head titled to the side.

"What are you talking about, Tom?" Mr. Dumbledore questioned as he walked into the room, running his hand through his beard all the while. Mr. Dumbledore raised a white eyebrow and an odd smile tweaked his lips. "I see nothing wrong."

"What do you mean by that? Look AT ME!" Mr. Riddle's face turned red with anger and the children gathered behind Mr. Dumbledore giggled behind their hands. Mr. Riddle swept a glare over the children, taking special care to settle it on a certain blonde, the glare being a few degrees hotter than when directed at the other children. The said blonde stuck out his tongue from his spot behind Mr. Dumbledore, where only Mr. Riddle could see the tiny tongue peeking out from between those mischievous lips.

"I see nothing wrong with your attire, well except for the fact that you seem to have somehow attached a chair to your gluteus maximus, for lack of a more appropriate word to refer to that part of your body as," Mr. Dumbledore commented with a smile playing across his lips as he looked at the intern's butt bemusedly.

"I did not somehow manage to do attach a chair to my behind. It was done by a certain someone." Mr. Riddle's eye twitched as the words spilled out of his mouth, interlacing with anger and loathing. Draco smirked in his spot and crossed his arms over his chest in satisfaction. "I need to destroy him and banish him to the depths of the Earth."

Mr. Dumbledore stared at him and blinked before following his gaze to the recipient of the odd man's glower. Mr. Dumbledore shuffled a bit to the side, protecting the blonde preschooler from Mr. Riddle's oddly red eyes. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Now how could you blame this poor boy for your mistake?"

"I am NOT blaming him! He did it for sure! I can prove it!" Mr. Riddle turned to the other children with a flourish, his butt colliding with his desk, swiping some objects off of it, and sending them rattling on the floor. The children backed away in alarm, scooting away from the scary intern that reigned terror over the class. Draco once again took his place in front of his love, though the said love looked quite annoyed at that.

"You all! Didn't you see this little devil put glue on my chair?" Mr. Riddle asked icily, pointing an accusing finger at Draco, the little devil. Draco pulled out a pout and behind him, his classmates huddled together in a whisper.

Draco didn't have any conscience, and thusly, he could easily eavesdrop without a cliché angel and devil debate on his shoulders.

"I saw him do it."

"Yeah, I did too."

"Should we tell?"

"I think we should."

"Yeah."

Murmurs of agreement soared through the air and Draco's shoulders slumped, knowing that the fun was all over before it even started. A sigh escaped his lips and he puffed up his cheeks, staring right down at his shoes.

"No," one voice said, rising over the rest.

Draco's head snapped up at that voice. He recognized that voice. It was Hermione that disagreed. She stood up for him an-

"I mean, he did it, but don't tell. There's a reason. Let's find out."

Okay, maybe she was just curious. But still, she was the one to decide to not tell on him. The other preschools seemed hesitant in following, but once Harry backed her up, they followed blindly, all of them agreeing that they had not seen anything involving Mr. Riddle, his chair, a bottle of super glue, and a certain Draco Malfoy.

They all turned back around to face the amused face of Mr. Dumbledore and the intern who had a vein popping out of his forehead. Harry took the lead, raising his head and looking Mr. Riddle straight in his blood shot eyes and saying, "We saw nothing."

Those 3 words set the young teacher into a fit of anger as he snarled at the little 5 year olds. "I'll get you eventually, but for now, I have to go home and plan my conquest of the wor- Uhh. I mean. I have another class to go visit." With that, he swept out of the room, his chair clad butt waving behind him.

Mr. Dumbledore wrinkled his eyebrows, the skin on his forehead bunching up, making his wrinkled even more prominent. "Well, that was odd. But I'm glad to know that Mr. Malfoy here is not a little devil who glues people's butts to chairs." Several snickers broke through the room at the word butt. "Now, it seems that it's break time in about five minutes, so I will let you all go out early. After all, there's no point in starting something with only five minutes to do it."

Happy squeals and yells echoed the room as tiny pairs of feet padded off, heading outside for their extended break. Immediately upon getting outside, another huddle began, this time, including Draco. All eyes were on the blonde boy, each of them silently asking the same question. Why?

Draco smirked. "He's evil."

"Draco, he's not evil. Just mean," Hermione countered in an exasperated tone.

"No! He really is evil. I told my dad about him and he said to be mean to him cause he's a bad guy."

"Is he gonna make the world explode?" Neville piped in with wide eyes. Everyone gave him an odd glance, Hermione touching his arm reassuringly and saying that no, Mr. Riddle was not going to explode the world, thankfully. Neville let out a relieved breath and huggled his knees, looking around warily.

"What did your dad say to do?" Harry questioned.

Draco bit the inside of his cheek in thought. "Oh. Umm. He said to drive him out and play pranks to annoy him."

"That way he'll get mad and be mean and Mr. Dumbledore will know about him!" Hermione added as the (hypothetical) light bulb lit over her head. Draco nodded and several of the preschoolers 'hmm'ed in agreement.

An awkward silence fell across the young children as they stared at each other. "So…what now?" Harry asked.

"It's obvious. We prank." A mischievous grin spread across Draco's face that soon became mimicked by the other preschoolers, well, except for Hermione, who rolled her eyes.

The rolling of the eyes promptly had Draco on his knees declaring his love for Hermione for the twenty fifth time that day. "Draco! Leave me alone!" Hermione whined as she backed away from the stalker-ish boy who had an odd obsession wither and gaining her love. Truthfully, it freaked her out. But she found it adorable in a way.

The crowd of preschoolers dispersed, leaving Hermione and Draco standing together, Draco on his knees with Hermione's hand between both of his. "I really do like you Mione."

The curly haired girl jerked back her hand in alarm, a blush staining her cheeks and inching down her neck. She pulled at her collar awkwardly and stared down at the boy still on the floor. "I said not to shorten my name!"

Draco just shrugged. "So?" he asked with a sigh.

"So? You say so? How would you like it if I called you Dray?" Hermione asked in anger, throwing up her hands.

Draco was quiet for a moment and a veil drew across his eyes as he stared out into space, a twinge in his chest casting a shallow smile onto his pink lips. He willed his eyes to look up at Hermione's face, even though they strained to turn away. His fingers mulled forth, retrieving the hand that she had pulled back into the depths of her coat and hid from his view.

His pale fingers traced over the back of her hand as he could hear Hermione's breath hitch softly in her throat. The trembling smile on his lips turned into a kiss onto the back of the fair brunette's hand. Hermione's eyes skipped around the area; left, right, anywhere but into his eyes. Those swimming eyes looked up at her imploringly, the smile reaching them.

"I would love it," Draco whispered softly, his voice barely audible over the loud ruckus of the other children in the playground.

Hermione coughed out a nervous laugh and then stuttered out her one worded reply, "Huh?"

Draco barely hesitated with his reply. "My name. Calling me Dray. I'd love it."Hermione's jaw muscles jumped as she considered his words.

"You want me to call you Dray?" Hermione questioned, not looking Draco at all by that time. Her hand, which was back in her pocket, played with the lint balls littering the inside of the coat.

"Yes," Draco answered quietly, grabbing Hermione's chin and moving it to face him.

Hermione squirmed, and backed away from him, one word on her lips. "No." She took a deep breath and spun on her heel, turning around to escape from the spell that Draco had cast on her. She bit her lip as she walked along to rejoin her friends.

Draco smiled to himself as he stared after her. He was close. She was falling, slowly, but surely. She would love him, he thought to himself, no matter what, just like he had thought when he had first seen her.

But first, he had a mission. He had to get rid of Mr. Riddle. With his classmates by his side, they would all triumph over the evil that was Tom Marvalo Riddle, the scariest, weirdest intern teacher in the world- the one who would be crying before all this would be over.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you have it! The pranking (-cough- revenge- -cough- Excuse me. It seems that I have a cold) has begun and will now continue throughout the rest of this story until the evil man who claims to be an intern is driven out of the classroom by frothing, blood hungry preschoolers. Haha, that's a funny mental image.

Oh and I got to 1667 words on this...exactly.

Actually, I'm a bit brain dead on prank ideas. They aren't really my area of expertise. So if there are any replicas of the Weasley twins out there that want to offer their godly knowledge to me so that my head won't explode as I try to wrack my brain for ideas. All I've got so far is a whoopee cushion. Yeah, I was serious when I said that this was NOT my area of expertise. So any suggestions would be loved and valued and prized and held above everything else in my life.

Oh, and guess what? Someone has contacted me and requested to translate this fic into Arabic. DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT IS?!!!!!!!!

XOXO

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PS: Please review. Spread the love.

PPS: I'm gonna be updating my stories for a while instead of posting oneshots. I want to keep the number 100 up for a while. (100 fics, I mean).

PPPS: Did anyone else cry when Dumbledore died in HP6? I may be a sap, but I know I can't be the only one. (When I say sap, I mean it… I cried when watching Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas... Yeah… and I cried during Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas.)

PPPPS: LOOK! IT'S A BIRD! NO! IT'S A PLANE! NO IT'S SPIDERBUTT! THE SUPERHERO WITH THE AWEOSME POWER TO SQUISH SPIDERS WITH HER BUTT! (Don't ask. I'm just teasing a friend.)

PPPPPS: How many 'P's can you put before the S?

PPPPPPS: What is the scariest thing you can have for lunch? A sand-witch. (Haha, that's so corny. I got it off of Seasme Street- which my brother made me watch with him)

PPPPPPPS: Can you tell that I'm bored? And that I want review? Haha.

PPPPPPPPS: Oh, and another joke. What kind of bat knows the ABC's? Severus Snape. (The opening question was from Elmo, but I made up the punchline.)


	7. And the Pranking Begins

Disclaimer: The Hp series doesn't belong to me.

A/N: Hey guys. It's another chappie! Whee! I hope you guys enjoy this.

* * *

Draco sighed and turned his head to stare out of the window. His flushed cheek rested against the palm of his small hand and his eyes stared off into the distance. The young boy's pink tongue flicked out and swept over his lower lip, noting the small, tender abrasions that littered the surface. A huff of warm air escaped his parted lips, ghosting across his hand. Those grey eyes of his were focused on one thing- the thing that his whole mind focused on and his whole world revolved around. Hermione.

He watched as she threw her head back in laughter and his ears twitched, yearning to hear the beautiful sound that flowed out of those pretty lips. Draco's lower lip stuck out into a pout. If only he was outside, playing with all the other kids and winning over Hermione's heart.

But no- instead, he was stuck here in-

A slap of a ruler against Draco's desk snapped his head up to look into a pair of cold, red eyes that sent shivers down Draco's spine.

Time out.

"Having fun Draco?" Mr. Riddle asked tauntingly, giving Draco a lipless smile. Draco stared up at those cold eyes in defiance and stuck out his tongue.

"NO. Why can't I go play?" the young Malfoy asked with a tone of exasperation touching his voice. He glanced up at the clock, wishing desperately that he had paid attention when his mom had told him how to tell time a few months ago.

"Because, you, Mr. Malfoy, are an idiotic little trouble maker who should go jump off a cliff and then explode," Mr. Riddle said through gritted teeth. His nostrils flared as he stared Draco down and the small boy caught himself thinking of the bulls that rampaged the color red in the cartoons he watched.

A small smirk appeared on Draco's lips. As long as he was here, he may as well ifuri…infiri…umm get Mr. Riddle angry. "For an evil dictatot trying to conquer the world, the only threats you can think of are 'push you off a cliff and make you explode.'" Draco murmured the words lou denoguh for the old man to hear.

As Draco's words met Mr. Riddle's ears, those red eyes dilated, whether in anger or fear, Draco didn't know and nor did he care. "What did you say?" The words spilled past Mr. Riddle's lips as he grabbed Draco's collar and pulled him up.

Draco gave the man an innocent smile. "That you are my most favoritest teacher ever."

Mr. Riddle snarled and dropped the boy, who fixed his collar upon sitting back down in his seat. Draco's eyes darted outside and he noted that his class was emptying out of the playground and ready to carry out the next plan.

All Draco had to do was keep him distracted and angry.

Draco sent Harry a wink and the other boy sent him a thumb-up in return, along with mouthing some words that Draco couldn't really make out. But Draco nodded in response anyway.

"What are you looking at? Your classmates having fun as your rot away?" Mr. Riddle questioned, placing a finger on Draco's chin and turning his head to look at him.

Draco once again looked up into those fiery red eyes and felt anger bubbling up in his own body. "This is your fault," Draco said, "You blamed me for something I didn't do."

"You know you put the glue to my chair. Everyone did. The only one who didn't was Mr. Dumbledore, but he's off at some convention isn't he? What can he do now?"

"I can tell him all about this when he comes back! I will!" Draco yelled with fake gusto. Truthfully, it wasn't really that bad. He was used to time outs by now. They didn't really pain him much. From the corner of Draco's eyes, he could see his classmates inching into the room. Mr. Riddle never noticed.

"Of course you will. Like he'll believe you," Mr. Riddle said, following the statement with a snort to make the point. Draco shook his head sadly.

"You say that, when it's my word against yours. And I've got the whole class behind me," Draco pointed out. Mr. Riddle's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed downward.

"Of course I'm scared of a whole class of preschoolers." Sarcasm dripped from his voice like water dripping from a faucet- It was so repetitive that it got annoying fast and it was so annoying that it got repetitive fast.

"If you add up all our ages, we'd be older than you," Draco said, presenting a fact that his love had brought to his attention a while ago.

Mr. Riddle raised an eyebrow as if to say 'so what?' "And if we add if your brains, you guys still wouldn't be able to match me." Draco looked past Mr. Riddle's shoulder at the other preschoolers. Ron met his eyes and rubbed his hands together- the signal to go on with the plan. With a nod, Draco immediately took action.

The smile on his lips began to quiver and his arms wrapped around his stomach as he doubled over. He drew in a long breath and let out a long hiss of pain… in exaggerated, fake pain.

Mr. Riddle's eyes widened in horror and he crouched over his student. "Malfoy? What's wrong?" He crouched down next to the small boy, his hand stroking his back while the boy hissed and let crocodile tears flow down his pale cheeks.

A chorus of 'Cinderella dressed in yella,' form the girls playing jump rope outside was Draco's cue to relax and let the charade go. With a smirk playing at his pink lips, he let out a long slow breath. He made a show of having his hands shake as he got up hesitantly off of the floor where he had wound up on. With those shaking fingers, he wiped off the tears.

"I'm fine, Mr. Riddle. That happens sometimes," Draco said calmly. Mr. Riddle raised an eyebrow but got up none the less. "You might want to get everyone inside now. Recess is over," Draco announced softly, rubbing his own hands together. His back was to the window, but he flashed a thumbs up sign outside, telling everyone that it was all going according to plan and that Mr. Riddle was heading outside and if they wanted to see it in action, they better look through the window or run inside. It was amazing what a simple thumbs up could convey.

Mr. Riddle sighed and cast a look at the clock, noting the time. With a sigh, he walked through the classroom, his hand outreaching and clasping the doorknob.

With a simple twist and pull, a bucket of water over turned onto his head.

A cheer ran through the crowd of preschoolers gathered.

And then the bucket fell on top of Mr. Riddle's head.

The cheers grew even louder and high fives galored.

Mr. Riddle passed out.

The preschoolers laughed, ignoring the unconcious teacher and goign off to play for the rest of the day.

* * *

A/N: My cousins are idiots. And so is my sister. Sorry, I just had to say that. Anyway, this was inspired by them and their weirdness (and not the good kind). SO yay for them but yet I feel like hitting them on the head with my laptop at times- especially a certain one cousin… -sigh-

Oh and thanks to those who gave prank suggestions! You guys had me cracking up. If you have any more, keep em coming.

And yay for everyone who reviewed! I love you guys and your reviews make me feel like I'm on the top of the world! Please continue to review and spread the love, even though it kind of gives me a bit of an ego at times… Then again, I can't go through life being modest… egos are good once in a while.. especially when it comes to this fic…hint hint. Please review. Spread the love.

XOXO

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PS: Did anyone else not receive any emails from this site on Saturday?

PPS: I love you all. You know that right?


	8. Draco VS The Yawn

Disclaimer: Do I really need to repeat this? –sigh- It's in the first chappie. Go read that.

A/N: Prepare for an epic battle of yawns. Draco vs a and Voldy isn't in this chappie... let's pretend he exploded for a day or two.

* * *

"This is an A… Or is it a A? Either way, this letter is the letter A," Mr Dumbledore announced with a bright smile on his face and a big pointer stick with an apple on it was pointed at the letter A, which was on the trimming above the whiteboard. "And what is A for?" he asked rhetorically to the clueless preschoolers.

Well, they were all clueless except for the smart one of the bunch. Hermione had her hand up and was practically jumping up and down in her seat, her bushy hair flopping up and down as she squirmed to get her teacher's attention. And while all the other students grumbled at her, Draco just stared at her, noting all her pretty features.

"Go, Hermione. What starts with A?"

Hermione's hand shot back down and she folded her hands in front of her before looking up at Mr. Dumbledore with confidence. "Apple."

Mr. Dumbledore beamed at her, "Of course! A is for apples! And we all love apples right? After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Ron yawned.

Harry yawned.

Pansy yawned.

Neville yawned.

The yawns crawled across the room and Draco smirked. He would stop the contagious chain of yawns before it got to his precious Hermione!

It was here…the yawn was here to break down his fortress. Draco puffed out his chest and pulled his shoulders back, bracing himself for the sudden tiredness that would inevitably reach him.

Draco bit down the yawn that was forming at his own lips. He could feel the yawn forming at his throat and he screwed his eyes and wrinkled his nose as he tried to hold it back. His lips were pulled out in a thin, tight line… Must not yawn. Must not yawn. Must not ya-

"Are you okay Draco?" Draco's eyes snapped open at Mr. Dumbledore's gentle voice and he looked up to see the other man's solicitous face watching him carefully. Draco eased up, letting his strained muscles relax for a second. Only, a second later, the yawn once again threatened to emerge.

Draco bit his lower lip, and felt his head shaking from the force of the unrestrained yawn. His eyes also drifted closed again. He couldn't hear the snickers that echoed through the room or the stares directed at him. He couldn't feel the squeeze his teacher made on his shoulder before heading back up to the front of the attentive class. All he could feel was his heart wildly beating in his chest and the yawn that was at the hinge of his clenched jaw.

His teeth chattered together, shivering under the power of it all. On the back of his eyelids he could see the yawn- a yellow cloud of humanoid gas that donned boxing gloves and wiggled back and forth, shifting from foot to foot. The striking red gloves hit him right by his chin, which unclenched for a moment. A sharp pain at the back of his throat had him aware of another punch that had him withering.

But then, he saw Hermione- the discouraged princess in a rosy pink dress, waiting to be saved from the evil yawn that threatened to eat through him.

A surge of power through him as he thought of her and her helplessness as she waited for her rescuer to win. He couldn't fail her.

"Mr. Malfoy? Are you okay?" Mr. Dumbledore repeated, shaking his student shoulder slightly and worrying for the worst. "Do you need to use the restroom?"

Mr. Dumbledore's word penetrated the fortress he had put up to hold back the yawn, breaking it into crumbles.

"NO I DON'T!" Draco yelled, only to realize too late that his fortress died, exploded, imploded, broke, and whatever word is equivalent to it blowing up. The yawn wiggled through the tiny hole that had opened and widened Draco's mouth, stretching itself out. Draco yawned…

Mr. Dumbledore looked at the young boy in amusement and raised an eyebrow before turning back to the front of the classroom and picking the apple pointer stick back up. He brought it up to the letter H and said, "This is the letter P."

Draco's eyes widened when he realized that they'd gone all the way to J while he was fighting his crazy battle with the yawn. He held up his fingers and did all the abcs he knew on his fingers, getting up to two hands! If only, he knew how to count how many fingers where on two hands… Oh well.

He sighed, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of brown hair. He then realized what he had been fighting the yawn for in the first place! His babe of a not yet but will be soon girlfriend. He failed her…

A pout formed on Draco's lips as he watched Hermione raise a hand over her widened mouth. She yawned…

Draco glanced back at his teacher who was now on Y… Y is for yawn.

How quaint.

* * *

A/N: Hey peoples! I finally updated. Hehe. Homework is bothersome. Anyway, did I have you all yawning? 'Cause whenever I typed the word yawn, I would find myself yawning (even right now). Hehe. Or mayebt hats the influence of school…

But I digress. I had fun with this chappie and Draco's fight with the yawn (I actually end up fighting back yawns in French class –its first thing in the morning. And my teacher gets all prissy when we yawn so I try and hold em back… It's quite difficult. Though obviously, I didn't' look constipated when I held them back).I hope you had fun reading it!

Please revieeeeeeew!!!! Spread the love. You know the drill. Hehe. Pleassssse do cuz you guys bring smiles to my face for a full week with just one review! Come on and review- resistance is futile.

And guess what... I'm this close to 200 reviews. -grins and holds up fingers a centimeter apart-

XOXO

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PS: Has anyone read larrythestapler's fics? They're AMAZING! –hint hint-


	9. LALALALABAMBAAAA

Disclaimer: HP belongs to JKR. La Bamba also doesn't belong to me.

A/N: -slinks into view- -hides from the avada's headed this way- Yeah...I know I haven't updated in... a while (understatement of the century). But... I have an excuse! ..Kinda sorta. I was...umm busy. Yeah, busy. That's right! Oh sooo busy. SO I couldn't possibly update. -runs away from the piercing glares, turning back and yelling that this is a good chappie to make up for it-

Beware of fluff and adorableness. No Tom Riddle in this chappie. Oh and Kasplosion gave me the prompt 'La Bamba' as a challenge for the week. Yay for randomness

* * *

The kids sat at work, each face screwed up in concentration, Mr. Dumbledore watching with a sad look on his face. Preschoolers shouldn't be that…focused. He couldn't bear to see the furrow between their eyebrows or the veins that stood out on the backs of their clenched, white fists.

The fists held stiff crayon as heads bent over the pieces of paper in front of them. Tiny little tongues slipped past wet lips, sticking out hesitantly. Each pair of eyes followed their hands' movements with careful precision. Every few seconds, someone would cry out in frustration and the others would pat them on the back. This time, it was Mr. Longbottom, who looked ready to cry.

Mr. Dumbledore had enough of this.

It shouldn't be that hard to color in the lines.

With an elegant stride, he reached the dusty contraption that sat in a corner of the room. His knobby fingers fumbled with the buttons and cassettes as his eyes searched for an upbeat tune to cheer up his little ones.

His eyes fell upon a bright purple cassette that read LA BAMBA across the top and he slipped it in, turning on the player. He sighed as he worked out the buttons and knobs. An old man like him just wasn't compatible with technology.

As his fingers pressed down the curious triangle that was labeled 'play', he heard the music filter out of the speakers and smiled to himself. It only took him about 5 minutes to figure out how to put the volume up and fill the room with the sound of the music.

Para bailar la bamba,  
Para bailar la bamba,  
Se necesita una poca de gracia.  
Una poca de gracia pa mi pa ti.  
Arriba y arriba  
Y arriba y arriba, por ti sere,  
Por ti sere.  
Por ti sere.

Curious heads looked up, each with a pair of shining, intrigued eyes. Mr. Dumbledore watched as their shoulders relaxed, their bodies sinking into their seats. The grips on the crayons tightened and chatter began to fill the room, accompanying the music.

Mr. Dumbledore smiled and clapped his hands together. Mission accomplished. The children were happier. He retreated into his office and grabbed that book that he liked so much; smiling to himself as he tapped his fingers to the music that didn't even enter the room- the office was soundproof for his own sanity.

Yo no soy marinero.  
Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan.  
Soy capitan.  
Soy capitan.

The children laughed as the cheery nonsensical lyrics flittered through the air. The smiles broke out and never once did the color slip past the think black lines that marked what should be untouched.

Draco hummed along, out of tune and pretending to actually know the song. On his piece of paper, he colored a butterfly, one with brown wings, a splash of so many different shades that made Draco dizzy at the thought. Every few seconds, he'd glance up, taking note at how pretty Hermione looked with her curly brown hair and sparkling chocolate eyes.

Ba-ba-bamba,  
Ba-ba-bamba,  
Ba-ba-bamba,

Draco's hand slipped, a streak of brown tainting the paper. Less worry, however, was on the paper, instead, his heart thumped frantically in his chest. Around him, people took on the same reactions, ashen faced and clammy as the words dawned on them.

The last verse of one of the greatest songs on the known planet had all the preschoolers running around like headless chicken, each little boy and girl screaming their heads off. Well, obviously, Malfoy's didn't scream. Draco was merely yelling in a high pitched voice.

Hermione sat, in the midst of it all, looking at her classmates in confusion… "Why is everybody running?"

Draco stopped in his tracks, looking at his beloved with a bewildered expression. "Cuz there's a bomb."

Hermione cocked her head to the side, dropping her crayon in the table as she looked up at the boy. "Where? How do you know?"

"Didn't you hear?" Draco said, his voice barely a whisper as he glanced around, as if talking about ti would make it appear. "The song said so."

"What?"

"La Bomb-a. A bomb! I'm too young to die… and too handsome. And we haven't gotten married yet. And-" Draco was cut off by a melodious laugh, which pierced through his sentence. Hermione held a hand over her mouth in an effort to suppress her giggles.

"A bomb?" She gasped out through snickers. "It's just a song. It's in Spanish. No bombs."

"You're smart. How do you know that?"

"Dora the Explorer taught me," Hermione replied with a beam. "And I'm not smart. I just pay attention."

Draco shook his head. "You are smart. You make me feel stupid. I always wanna make you proud of me but you're always better. And I always forget what I'm saying around you. And I just want you to like me."

"I do like you though." Hermione stood up so that she was eye level with Draco and she hugged him. "I just don't want to kiss you."

Draco pushed Hermione back slightly, wrinkling his nose. "I don't wanna kiss you either. That's so gross. I just wanna marry you. Kissing is what mommies and daddies do. We can just be huband and wite."

"Husband and wife," Hermione corrected automatically. Then she looked around, watching the other children run around and scream. "I'm gonna go tell Harry and Ron not to be scared."

Draco nodded, smiling, and sat down in his chair, slumping into the cushioned seat. He glanced at his butterfly picture and stroked his chin thoughtfully, in the same way Mr. Dumbledore did when he was staring at them.

Something was missing from the picture.

Draco looked back and forth between Hermione and the butterfly. He watched as she talked to Harry and Ron, her hands moving animatedly. Every once in a while, her tongue would swipe across her pink lips.

It dawned to Draco, the thing that was missing.

He searched his crayon box for the perfect color.

He added pink to his butterfly.

* * *

A/N: Hehe, cuteness.

Review please, I've missed you all. And I promise to update more. PINKY SWEAR!

XOXO

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	10. Happy Valentine's Day

Disclaimer: HP doesn't belong to me.

A/N: V Day exclusive. Written at the request of WhitePheonixFlame. And out of love for all of my readers out there. Love you all, enjoy your day!

* * *

"It's not Valentine's day. It's Saint Valentine's Day. The day spent honoring the Saint by the name of Valentine. There are quite a few variations of the story, none of which are guaranteed true. But my mother had told me about her version of it, the one her mother had told her and her grandmother had told her mother. Now, I'll tell you."

Draco looked up at his mother with sparkling eyes. He shifted around, his butt having gone numb from sitting on the carpeted floor. Narcissa sat with him, leaning forward and pushing a lock of hair out of her son's face.

"Once upon a time there was an enigmatic man who hid in the shadows of despair. "

Draco sat on the swing, his head high above the other preschoolers that surrounded him. Every kid on the play ground sat at his feet, each looking forward to the story, ignoring the tanbark stabbing their bottoms. Draco smoothed his hair back smiling at everyone, his gaze sweeping over the crowd.

"Is everyone here?" He started to do a mental head count out loud. "1, 2, 3…Uhh. 5. 9. 32. 68…uhh forget it. Everyone's here. Even you Hermione!" Draco winked at her. Hermione blew him a kiss.

Draco blushed and started his story. "This is the history of Santa Valentine. My mommy told me the story and my mommy's mommy told her and my mommy's mommy told her mommy and her other mommy and that mommy and… yeah…"

Everyone stared at him blankly. Draco sweatdropped, shrugging as he moved onto the story.

"So once, during this time, this magic man who had this shadow that he named despair. And so there was this pretty lady who pulled him away from the shadow cuz she was so pretty. So he left the shadow and gave her a lot of gifts and presents. And so she fell in love with him too. And then the next year on the same day, he made everyone leave all their shadows too. And all their names were despair too- isn't that weird? But he made everyone leave their shadows and he gave everyone present and chocolate. The despairs lived happily ever after."

Everyone stared at him blankly.

Ron was the first to speak up. "You made us sit in tanbark for that story? I have a present for you Hermione. It's better than that story." Ron reached into his pocket. Everyone watched, sneaking glances at Draco out of the corners of their eyes. Valentine's day drama!

He pulled out a recess buttercup from his pocket and gave it to Hermione. Hermione's face lit up as she ripped apart the outerlining, only to meet a melted, half-eaten blob of green goo. The girl screamed, throwing it at Ron's face as she flung herself into Draco's arms.

Draco laughed, shrugging as her pulled out his secret weapon.

"What you get for one person, you have to get for everyone!" Draco yelled out, "Dumbledore said so. And you're pooooor! Not like me."

At that moment, an airplane flew over the school, dropping a pile of presents and chocolates onto the ground below. Candy galore and Hermione skrieked happily, throwing her arms around Draco's body as she hugged him. "I love you Draco! You're my hero."

Draco walked off into the sunset with Hermione in his arms, waving bye to a fuming redhead.

"And so that's how St. Valentine has been honored with his own day in history. A day where every couple can rejoice, eat chocolates, and give presents," Narcissa finished off with a smile. She blinked as she noticed Draco's dazed expression.

"Draco?"

She waved a hand in front of his face. He didn't move. She poked his side, and the boy screamed, clutching his stomach dramatically.

"OWwww."

"Not my problem. So…did you like the story?"

"Yes! I'm gonna go and tell my friends at school on Monday and everyone will love me! And I'll carry Hermione off into the sunset. And Ron will be so mad. And we'll all get hyper off of chocolate and sing random songs."

"Make sure you give your teachers chocolate too. Try injecting a poison of sorts into Mr. Riddle's. It' might work out. Hopefully he won't taste the acrid bitterness of the candy."

"…Are you going to kill my teacher?"

"No…just hurt him."

The next day found Tom Riddle lying on the floor, twitching, and frothing in the mouth as Mr. Dumbledore stood over him, watching the jerky movements as her ate his lemon drops and pondered what to do. The children all ran around on a sugar high.

Draco, however, only got disappointed.

First, Mr. Riddle didn't die. He only got rabies.

Second, Hermione slapped him after he tried to carry her off into the sunset.

* * *

A/N: Pure randomness. Happy VDAY!

Please review. =D Love you allll.

XOXO

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	11. Booksies

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: ...I have no excuses for not writing. It's hard to get back into ittttttttt. I decided to try Voldy's perspective today.

* * *

The class was supposed to be reading.

"The rain fell. It fell hard. The clouds were dark. It was gloomy."

"The chicken gobbled. It walked across the street to get to the other side."

"Her name is Mary Sue. She was always a good girl."

"The cat was black. It jumped up and meowed."

Each little kid was to hold a book open on the table. Fingers were supposed to follow the rows of words while little mouths jumbled all the words together. The colorful art was there to jump out at them, from the not–so-gloomy rain to the surprisingly active black cat.

Books were meant to be read. And children were meant to enjoy them… right?

Wrong.

Mr. Riddle was ready to pull his hair out. Oh wait; they children already did that for him (revealing a scaly, prickly scalp that caused one of the brats to throw up). He was frantic and crazed, his bald head whipping this way and that while the little freaks ran around.

The man shook his head, cursing softly at Dumbledore's absence ('Stupid hand amputation. He could make it for a while with a blackened hand.') and shot a glare at one of the smaller children, Longbottom, his name was. The tiny child whimpered and stopped in his tracks, dropping his book on the floor.

The other, however, kept running, each with as many books as their grubby ager hands could hold. The sound of the tearing of paper filled the room, accompanied by the joyful shrieks of toddlers. Pages upon pages of paper fell to the floor. Some kids were sitting in a corner crying about paper cuts. Others were coloring on the walls. Others were just standing there screaming.

It was all giving Mr Riddle a headache. He was beginning to wonder if his plan for world domination as worth it… It was, he decided as he, himself, let out an earsplitting scream.

The children flinched, looking around warily. The books were dropped. The crayons were dropped. The crying... intensified.

Draco Malfoy, the brattiest of them all, led the children in an overwhelming cry of epic proportions. The room rattled with the noise as Mr Riddle's eyes flew open. The man snarled in anger and walked over to the brat, his flowy polka-dotted apron swishing ineffectively with him.

He got onto one knee, eye level with the Malfoy brat. The children kept screaming, but Draco stopped and looked Mr Riddle in the eye, his chin up and his arms crossed over his chest (Just like how he practiced in the mirror)

"Shut up."

"You shut up," Malfoy replied coolly. A scandalous gasp ran through the classroom at the name calling toward the teacher but Riddle ignored them.

His hand gripped Malfoy's shirt, pulling the boy forward in a rough jerk. The boy lost his balance and his cool, flinching at his touch. "Your little Dumbles isn't here right now. I'm in charge. You and your little attitude won't stop me."

From behind Malfoy, the Potter kid stepped up, linking his arm with the other boy. "We can together." Malfoy shot the boy a smile and he hooked his other arm with Weasely, who came up next to him. The cries slowly stopped and each child stood forward, a giant mass of link arms and giggly grins.

Mr Riddle glared down at them all. "You've been after me before. I know it. But I'm ready to fight back. Be ready."

"It's on," Malfoy replied.

Before Mr Riddle could smack him, the bell rang and a horde of overprotective rich parents swarmed into the classroom to pick up their children. As Malfoy walked away, his hand wrapped around his mother's, he shot a wicked little look back at Mr Riddle.

It's on. It'd been on. But these minor skirmishes were turning ugly fast. He sighed and untied the polka dotted apron, tossing it onto the floor next to the scattered pages on the floor.

* * *

A/N: I'm gonna try to begin posting something once a week. It's been a while and I miss writing. And I missed all my readers!

Review please.

XOXO

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